-- { Matthew 5:31-32 }  ³¹“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ ³²But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.  -- NRSV

Dear Friend, grace and peace be unto you from God our Father, and our Lord and Savior, Jesus, the Christ.  Amen.

This sermon series on Jesus' Sermon on the Mount is about learning who we are, as children of God and followers of Jesus. In knowing who we are, we are enabled by God's grace to make godly decisions and know what to do to live God's Kingdom now.

Throughout history there have been two schools of thought when interpreting the laws of society - the strict, conservative and the broad, liberal. We see these two being debated in our current presidential race. Where are the moderates?

In Jesus' day the strict, conservatives were from the Shammai school, and the liberals were from the Hillel school. Each school had a different interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1, "If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce…" 

For the Shammai school divorce was only allowed for one "something indecent," adultery. For the Hillel school "something indecent" was interpreted to mean anything that destroyed the unity of the marriage. They believed that perfect unity had to be maintained or divorce was an option for the man. Of course the woman had no say in the matter.

You can easily see which school was more popular with the men. Divorce became so common, worse that our 50% or 60% rate in the U.S., that the Jewish society, like ours, was threatened. All a man had to do to divorce his wife was to have a Rabbi write out a bill of divorcement and hand it to the wife in the presence of two witnesses. The divorce was immediate and final. Maybe similar to our "No Fault Divorce" of today. But in our case, of course, the wife can initiate the process as well as the man. They split up and go their separate ways forgetting how many lives their divorce has touched besides children and other family members. It is a sad time for all - even though it may be necessary.

It is this sadness and brokenness that Jesus addresses in talking about divorce. Divorce was not in God's plan for one man and one woman unions, because in the beginning He saw His plan as really good, and Adam and Eve agreed.

The Law

The law against divorce was given for three reasons.

1. To protect the family. 

2. To protect the land or nation, preventing national disintegration.

3. To prevent, discourage a person from becoming an adulterer.

The real meaning

The real meaning of the law is that marriage is a fortified unit and is not to be breached. There is protection for the family, including the wife, husband, and children. There is emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual protection. There is protection from a family being ripped apart and having to undergo all the strain and disruption that follows. 

Divorce is one of the most traumatic experiences of human life. Many of those who have gone through divorce say that it is worse than losing a mate to death. Why? Because your former mate is still around and the separation eats away at you even though you know it is over. The guilt can continue.

1. Divorce touches: husband, wife, children, parents, friends, co-workers.

2. Divorce affects: mind, spirit, behavior, joy, security, hopes, plans, peace, faith, emotions, love, possessions, purpose, estates…

3. Divorce changes: personal life, private life, home life, parental life, recreational life, social life, dream life.

Because divorce affects human life so much, it is of critical concern to Jesus. When you hurt, anyone hurts, Jesus hurts. Thus, because divorce is such a hurtful process Jesus does everything He can to try to prevent it.

There are four attitudes of marriage. The first three often lead to divorce.

1. A back-door marriage: "If it works, OK; if it doesn't work, OK."

2. A sensual marriage: based upon some other reason other than real love, such as attractiveness, sex, or finances.

3. An adventurous marriage: the marriage is entered into for the experience and adventure of being married. Maybe like so many Hollywood marriages.

4. A marriage of commitment: the full conviction of both spouses that they should fulfill the solemn vows taken - a commitment before God.

Honesty is very important when a couple approaches marriage. They need to be on the same page as to these four attitudes. If one has a back-door marriage attitude and the other is expecting a marriage of commitment, there will probably be problems along the way and divorce more likely. Christian marriage is to always be towards a marriage of commitment.

True and lasting marriage is a work of God. He does the joining and builds a spiritual and physical union between a man and a woman. So they are able to confess that they love each other more now than when they first met. Like the song says, "I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow."

The exception: marital unfaithfulness

It might seem odd that God actually allows an exception for divorce. The exception, however, is a very serious one. It is called adultery or fornication by one of the spouses. 

The great tragedy of this sin is that it breaks the union and attachment between husband and wife. Several things in the relationship get broken: faith, hope, love, trust, assurance, confidence, and of course the physical bond. This brokenness does not have to lead to divorce, forgiveness is an option. But forgiveness becomes very difficult in these situations. Not many spouses have the faith of a Hoses, who remained faithful to his wife even as she repeatedly stepped out on him.

Two facts need to be noted about Jesus words in this text.

What Jesus is trying to prevent is what history shows so clearly. Society has, our society has, ignored the command of God by allowing "no fault" divorce. Society has abandoned the family unit for individualism much too easily. Society has not put up a fight for the family.

How many divorces would there be if only adultery were accepted as the reason for divorce? The number would probably be quite different. Then again we must remember that there are other sins that break up marriage unions: physical or mental abuse, abandonment, mental illness, etc. Maybe divorce is a painful choice that has to be made.

You and I must remember, when it comes down to it, divorce is all about self. The adulterous, or abusing, or abandoning spouse is only thinking about him or her self. Of course this very attitude runs counter to the life Jesus calls you and me too. He calls us to deny ourselves and take up His cross and follow Him in a life of love and service - living His Kingdom now.

In conclusion, take marriage seriously - your marriage seriously - your families marriages seriously - your friends marriages seriously. God brings people together for some reason and at the beginning of their relationship all was exciting and good. That is the way He wants it to be again. Before considering adultery or divorce seriously think about it. And don't think just of yourself. Think of what something like that would do to the people around you. This is Jesus' point. Do you really see what you would be doing?

If divorce happens, it happens and God can extend His forgiveness and healing. But we must not give up so easily on the original marriage. Fight for your relationship. Give it some quality time. Get counseling. Consult your Savior and Lord, Jesus. He loves to make all things new.

Heavenly Father, strengthen the marriages represented here today, and those of family and friends, with more of your presence. Make them vital, alive, filled with joy, celebration, and most of all Your love.

In Jesus Name,