OOPS (Part 1)

-- { Matthew 18:15 }  ¹⁵ ‘If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.  -- NRSV

Dear Friend, grace and peace be unto you from God our Father, and our Lord and Savior, Jesus, the Christ.  Amen.

I am at home watching the TV news and I hear a voice, “Oops.”  I know that isn’t good.  I check it out and discover something has gotten broke or the computer is messed up or you name it.  You know what I mean.  Oops’ happen.

Oops’ happen in churches too – between members.  Something goes wrong and someone says something they shouldn’t and an “Oops” goes up.  A sin has been committed against a brother or sister in Christ.  Now what?  Well, Jesus helps us deal with our “Oops” in our Gospel today.

Sinning against a fellow believer is a matter of great concern to God.  It is so serious that if the offending believer refuses to correct the matter, he or she is to be disciplined.  

When dealing with discipline in the Church, we are talking about a personal offense – a wrong done to another – a fellow Christian is hurt, injured or damaged in some way.

God is concerned in such situations and wants peace restored – individually and corporately in the church.  Because, such discord is damaging to the church, Jesus lays down some specific steps to handle it.  Today, we are going to focus on one.

CORRECTING AN OFFENDING BELIEVER TO ATTEMPT RECONCILIATION (V.15)  (Jesus said to the disciples:) “If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone.  If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.”

First we need to understand the word “sins.”  What sins might you commit to deserve a confrontation?  The Greek word for “sins” is “Hamartano” meaning “to miss the mark” and thus “to fail.”  To fail to live as God wills us too.

How could you, a Christian believer, “sin” or “miss the mark” with a believer, spouse, family, friend, or coworker?  There are several possible ways:

1. By your behavior -  doing that which is offensive to believers:  offending one’s conscience, being a stumbling block, being a bad example.

2. By your confronting someone -  insulting, abusing, humiliating, degrading, arguing, showing disrespect, showing bitterness, being angry, being hostile.

3. By your tearing someone down behind their back -  talking about, lying, gossiping, murmuring, criticizing, spreading rumors.

4. By your encroaching on someone’s rights or property -  deceiving, cheating, stealing, lying, envying.

Note here also that when another believer disturbs or offends you, you are not to wait on that person to come to you and apologize.  Jesus says that you are to go immediately to him or her.  This is really hard.

You are to go to the believer alone and “point out the fault.”  The person may not realize that he or she has done anything wrong or offended you.  The point being that if you do not go to this person they may never realize they have done something wrong and thus never correct their behavior.

On the other hand if he does know that he has offended you and you do not confront him in love, his guilt of the sin continues.  The division only grows worse.  Hearts and minds brood on the issue and poison and embitter the persons involved.  This does not glorify the Lord.  We desperately need to do all we can to resolve the matter.

There are two rules in approaching the offender:

As St. Paul says in Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”

When another believer offends you, your response becomes critical to Jesus.  There are five responses you can choose from:

1. A self-centered response -  acting babyish, innocent, or as a martyr.  Feel sorry for yourself – brooding over the hurt, consumed with it, until your heart and mind are poisoned by it.  This is a natural reaction and not of God.

2. A withdrawing response -  this is simply avoiding the one that has offended you.  It may mean even fearing to associate with the person, showing displeasure or getting back at them by ignoring or neglecting them – shunning them.

3. A gossiping response -  a self-justifying sharing with others - to share the hurt and evil and wrong done with friends in order to picture yourself as blameless.  This is in direct opposition to Jesus’ directives which charge you with going to the person first.

4. A vengeful response -  here you can become so aggressive that you lower yourself to the level of the one who has done you wrong and you do wrong to them.

5. A caring response -  caring enough for your relationships in the church that you go to the one that offends you and seek reconciliation.  This is to be done after sincere prayer and yielding yourself to the Spirit of God.  This is the hardest response of them all but the one Jesus commands of us.

Jesus expects you to conquer the urges of your sinful self.  He gives you His own Spirit to make that possible.  You are to keep quiet and then go to the person and discuss the matter, seeking reconciliation.  You are to be spiritually minded – filled with the Spirit.

Jesus also expects something of the one who offended and did the wrong.  Instead of avoiding and denying what they did they are to admit their sin - humbly confess and be reconciled.  Two of the most powerful words in any relationships are “I’m sorry.”  We need to use them in the Church more often.  The Church is the proving grounds for saying, “I’m sorry,” and “I forgive you.”  If we can’t do it here, where can we do it?

Just think how wise Jesus’ advice is.  Think of the enormous lessons that could be learned if we sat down in disputes and truly, with the mind of Jesus, sought reconciliation.  Can’t you see the fruit of the Spirit flowing: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness and Self-control?

Think what a different world this would be if this step alone was practiced by all:  the difference in human relationships personally, nationally, and internationally.  

Think about the differences this would make in our health emotionally and physically – less stress, fewer ulcers, lower blood pressure, fewer heart attacks, etc.

Jesus shares more steps to be taken if face to face correction and reconciliation fail but I don’t what that to be your focus.  Dr. Phil says, “It’s not about you.”  Well, yes and no.  It is about all of us.  It is about our living and acting in ways that bring glory to God.  It is about caring for our brothers and sisters in the faith.  It is about caring for that sinner who has hurt us and loving them even more than we love ourselves.  To be a Christian is a challenging calling.  A calling to love and forgive one another.  How are you doing?

What is the life application for us today from this text?

1.      When you commit an “oops” (sin) against another, recognize it immediately and sincerely say “I’m sorry.”  Confess your fault.

2.      When someone else commits an “oops” against you say, “That really hurt me and if our relationship is going to continue you need to say, ‘I’m sorry.’”  

When you live like this you will be living the way your Lord Jesus intends for you to live.  And He will let forgiveness and healing flow into your life.  He knows life is not easy and that we will hurt one another, but with His presence in our lives we can respond to the “oopses” and be reconciled.  It takes an inner transformation but that is the work Jesus loves to do in your life and in mine.

  Amen.