THE WALK OF THE CHRISTIAN BELIEVER

H.  THE BELIEVING WIFE & HUSBAND
ARE TO WALK IN A SPIRIT OF SUBMISSION & LOVE

-- { Ephesians 5:22-33 }   ²² Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands. ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶ in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, ²⁷ so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind—yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish. ²⁸ In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, ³⁰ because we are members of his body. ³¹ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ ³² This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. ³³ Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.  -- NRSV

Breath Prayer For The Week (A "breath prayer" is a brief sentence or simple phrase that can be repeated often to Jesus in one breath.)

Jesus, help me to be the husband or wife you want me to be.

Dear Friend, grace and peace be unto you from God our Father, and our Lord and Savior, Jesus, the Christ.  Amen.

Last week I mentioned that Thomas Jefferson didn’t have the ideal Bible.  He cut out all the parts he didn’t like.  Today we are going to look at some of St. Paul’s more unpopular words that some would like to cut out of the Bible.  Therefore, as we look at what he has to say let us remember that we believe that this is the Word of God.  That is important.  Sure we can ignore His Word but maybe it is better to try to really understand it.  Also remember that God gives instruction for our good.

It takes a long time, it seems, to learn that to walk down the path God sets before us is the best plan for our lives.  Following His will we will experience the most loving, peaceful and rich life.  This is true with husband and wife relationships.  Their companionship lived in God’s will, will be a blessing.

First, Paul shares that the wife is to walk in a spirit of submission (5:22-24)  “Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

I have known this to be the favorite Bible verse for some men.  And I have told them the facts of this verse, “This is none of your business.  Wives are being addressed here.  You need to focus on Paul’s address to you a little later.”

But let’s look at what Paul has to say – what you have to consider as a Christian wife, or future Christian wife.  

There are three reasons St. Paul says a wife, walking in the Spirit of God, will want to be submissive to her husband.  So let me speak to wives and future wives.

1. Wives you will want to submit to God’s will.  God is God, and as God, He asks or commands things of you for your good as you walk as a wife through life.  But there is a qualification here – “as to the Lord.”

2. You will want to submit to God’s order for the family.  There is to be a partnership and order within the family.  

1. You will acknowledge your husband to be the head of the family.  You will work in partnership with your husband but you will recognize that in the order of the family unit as created by God the husband has a particular function, to keep order.

2. You will acknowledge that as a wife your pattern is to follow that of Jesus and the Church.  Jesus is the head of the Church and thus the husband takes that role in a marriage.

3. You will understand that your husband is your protector and comforter.  This is a great benefit you receive upon marriage.

3. You will need help in your submission because it is a spiritual mystery.  As you submit more and more to Jesus, you will submit to your husband.  As you depend more and more on Jesus, you will depend more and more on your husband.  As you depend more and more on Jesus for companionship and comfort, you will depend more and more on your husband for companionship and comfort.

In looking at the context in which St. Paul writes we must note that the submission of you as a wife to your husband is an example of the submission that all believers are to show to one another as expressed in verse 21, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

You are not inferior to your husband or men.  God has simply given an order that works best in the family.  If you chose to change that order you can certainly do so.  But God creates this order to bless you as a wife.  

To make this work takes a tremendous amount of God’s grace upon you and your husband.  Now lets looks at what God requires of a husband.

Second, Paul shares that a husband is to love his wife (5:25-33)  “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body.  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.  This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.  However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Husbands and husbands to be, this is where you start paying attention.  There are five significant points we husbands need to see here.

1. The love you, as a husband, have for your wife is to be the same as the love you have for God Himself.  This love is called “agape.”  You are to be unselfish, selfless, giving and sacrificing for your wife.  You are to be determined in your mind to love her in every way possible.  You are to love her with your feelings but more importantly with your will and commitment.  

Imagine what would happen in your marriage if you loved your wife with a selfless and unselfish love, with a giving and sacrificial love, with a love of the will as well as the heart, with a love of commitment and affection.

The standard for your loving your wife is very high.  It is the love of Jesus for you.  This love involves three things.

1. Your love involves being “set apart and cleansed.”  When you take a woman to be your wife, you set yourself apart for her alone.  Your word and promise also causes your wife to be set apart for you alone.  

2. Your love involves having no “stain or wrinkle” or any such thing.  “Stains” would include: mistreatment, abuse, loose and immoral behavior, withdrawal and avoidance.  “Wrinkles” would include: a temper, broken promises, serious neglect, severe selfishness, and rejection.

3. Your love involves being “holy and blameless.”  “Holy” (hagia) means to be separate and untouched by evil.

Your love has to be a real love that will stir you to be holy and unblemished so that your wife will be the same.  This shows how much effect you have on your marriage.

2. The love you have for your wife is to be the very same love you have for yourself.  What does this mean?

   1. You are to nourish and cherish your wife as you do your own body.  “Nourish” means to feed, clothe, nurture and look after your wife as long as she lives.  The word “cherish” means to hold ever so dear within the heart, to treat with warmth, tenderness, care, affection and appreciation.  Can you imagine the difference it would make in your marriage if you lived these two words toward your wife?

   2. You are to become one flesh with your wife.  You are to complete each other as God intended – absorb and assimilate one another in oneness.

3. The love you have for your wife is to be a love that will stir you to leave your parents and join your wife.

4. The love you have for your wife is a spiritual mystery – a spiritual love – a love just like Jesus’ love for the Church

5. The love you have for your wife should cause your wife to respect and love you more.  

What St. Paul shares with us is a cycle of love.  Husband and wife loving one another – submitting to one another – respecting one another – living in harmony with one another.

It isn’t hard to live a ”do your own thing” marriage today.  You can just agree to go your own separate ways.  But that isn’t a marriage, it’s an arrangement.

God’s commands are not easy otherwise He wouldn’t have to bother commanding us.  But He does know what is good for us.  He does know how marriages work best and bring the most meaning.  Take His word seriously, ask Him to help you understand it and guide you in living it, for the sake of your mate in marriage.

Heavenly Father, we need Your help in being good husbands and wives.  It isn’t a given.  Stir up Your Spirit within us to live according to Your commands.