THE WALK OF THE CHRISTIAN
BELIEVER
I. BELIEVING CHILDREN & PARENTS
ARE TO WALK UNDER GOD’S AUTHORITY
-- { Ephesians
6:1-4 } 1 Children,
obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 ‘Honor
your father and mother’ —this is the first commandment with a
promise: 3 ‘so that it may be
well with you and you may live long on the earth.’ 4 And,
fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the
discipline and instruction of the Lord. -- NRSV
Breath Prayer For The Week (A
"breath prayer" is a brief sentence or simple phrase that can
be repeated often to Jesus in one breath.) Lord,
bless my family.
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Dear
Friend, grace and peace be unto you from God our Father, and our Lord
and Savior, Jesus, the Christ. Amen.
Someone has
said that each generation is only one generation away from chaos and
uncivilized living. This Scripture is critical for our time.
Many parents and children today are locked in a battle. Paul says
children and parents are to walk together under God’s authority.
First,
Paul says that believing children are to obey (6:1-3) “Children
obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your
father and mother’ – which is the first commandment with a promise
– ‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on
the earth.’”
“Obey”
(hupakouo) means to submit to, to comply with, to hearken, to heed, to
follow the directions or guidance of some instruction. Paul is
saying that when a parent guides and directs a child, the child is to
obey the parent.
But what
about the horrible problem in our society of parental abuse –
physical, sexual, and mental abuse? Is a child to obey a parent
when the parent is doing something terribly wrong? NO! A
thousand times NO! Paul explains.
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To
obey means to obey “in the Lord.”
For children to obey their parents “in the
Lord” means two things.
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There
is a limit to the child’s obedience. When a parent is not
acting in the Lord, the parent is not to be obeyed. God does
not in any way put up with the abuse of children. Children
are to run for help if they are abused or put in situations where
they would be going against God’s will. The Lord Jesus
came to set people free, not enslave them – especially children.
One of the most severe warnings ever issued in all of history was
issued by Jesus to adults who abuse children in Mark 9:42-48.
The abuser would be better off, if a millstone were hung around
his neck and he were cast into the sea. The abusing parent
had better heed God’s warning, or else.
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The
phrase “in the Lord” also tells
why the child is to obey his or her parents. Obeying our
parents is right and pleases the Lord. Therefore, our desire
in pleasing the Lord should bring us obedience to our parents when
they guide us by God’s Spirit.
As
with husband and wife loving one another as they love the Lord it is
the same with children loving their parents. They love their
parents as they love the Lord. Therefore, the earlier in life a
child can develop a relationship with Jesus, and love Him, the sooner
he or she will truly love their parents.
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To
obey parents means to honor one’s father and mother. The
word “honor” (timao) means to
esteem and value as precious, to show respect, reverence, kindness,
courtesy, and obedience. Paul is speaking to the child of any
age. As a child grows older this honoring does not diminish of
his parents.
Tragically
today many children do not know how to honor their parents. To
often today children respond to their parents by: talking back,
cutting them down, ignoring them, grumbling, disregarding their
instruction, speaking disrespectfully, not listening, acting like a “know
it all,” calling their parents disrespectful names, etc.
In
addition there is the dishonoring of delinquency, crime, drugs,
alcohol, and the list can go on and on. And when it comes to
adult children with aging parents there can be the dishonor of
neglect, the ignoring of their needs and the failure to care for them.
Even if our parents failed to be and do all they should have, we as
Christian children are instructed to honor them as followers of the
Lord Jesus Christ.
Two
promises or blessings are given to those children who honor their
parents.
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Things
will go well for them. Does this mean the child will never
have problems or have to suffer? No. This means that
God will be with the child through whatever comes. The child
will be strengthened by God’s very presence.
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The
child is assured that he or she will live a long life on earth.
There is some debate as to what Paul means here. But let us
just take Paul at his word, that God will give the child a long
life – full life – on earth – however God chooses to do
that.
Second,
believing parents are not to provoke their children, but to nurture them
in the Lord (6:4) “Fathers, do
not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and
instruction of the Lord.”
This
especially concerns me since only fathers are mentioned here. But
I think there may be a reason for that. But both the father and
mother need to take this warning seriously.
Parents are
bound to upset and irritate their children at times. It will
happen. Discipline, correction and reproof are not enjoyable
experiences. But this is not what this instruction deals with.
The word “exasperate” (parorgizo) means
to arouse to wrath or anger, to provoke to the point of utter
exasperation and resentment. Note two points.
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Four
things will provoke a child.
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Parents
failing to accept the fact that things do change. Time and
generations do change. Parents need to be alert to the
changes between generations and allow the child to be a part of
his own generation instead of trying to conform the child to the
parent’s childhood generation. The parent’s childhood
generation no longer exists and the parent, as hard as it is, must
recognize this or they provoke their child and disrespect him or
her.
Change
that is desired by the child that does not involve rebellion,
immorality or injustice should be given respectful and serious
consideration by the parents and allowed.
The
parents must not resist normal and natural change that takes place
between generations. If the parents resist they are asking for
trouble and will get it not only from the children but God Himself.
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Over-controlling
a child will also provoke a child to wrath. This can range
from stern restriction to actual abuse. Disciplining and
restricting a child too much will either stifle the growth of the
child or stir him to rebel, causing the child to flee from the
parents.
What
is too much discipline? Should a child be allowed to do
anything? No! There is a limit, and the limit must be
placed upon the child with God’s loving care. The parents
need to pray for the wisdom to guide their child in the way the Lord
would wish him or her to go.
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Under-controlling
a child can provoke a child. This is a big problem in our
society today. There is the tendency for those with means to
pamper, indulge and give a child everything they desire, beyond
the needs of the child. Parents indulge and pamper children
by giving-in for five reasons.
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In
order to escape responsibility for the child. |
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In
order to gain social standing or to relive their own childhood. |
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Because
of a false understanding or philosophy of child-rearing. |
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Because
of misguided devotion and love. |
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Because
of insecurity and lack of purpose. |
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Living
an inconsistent life before a child can provoke a child. A
parent who tells a child one thing and then turns around and does
the opposite thing himself is full of hypocrisy. How many
children are doing things because their parents are: drinking
alcohol, taking drugs, indulging in immorality, eating to much,
wasting time, dressing inappropriately, attending social events
that promote indecency and immorality. Seeing an
inconsistent life in a parent will provoke a child.
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A
parent is to being up a child in the ways of the Lord, in the
training and instruction of the Lord. The word “training”
(paideia) means the whole training and education of children which
involves morals, commands, reproof, correction. The word “instruction”
means admonition, counsel, exhortation and correction.
The
parent is not to raise a child after his or her own ideas as to what
is best for the child but according to the Lord’s wishes. A
few of the benefits of bringing a child up in the Lord are:
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A
child who is brought to a relationship with Jesus grows up
learning love.
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A
child brought to Jesus grows up learning the power God has to help
him live his life.
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A
child who is brought to Jesus grows up learning hope and faith:
that no matter what happens, God can be trusted.
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A
child who is brought to Jesus grows up learning the truth of life
and endurance. That life is full of temptations and
pitfalls, which can easily rob us of joy and destroy our lives and
our purpose for life.
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A
child who is brought to Jesus grows up learning peace. There
is an inner peace the follower of Jesus knows that the world
cannot. It is a peace that takes us beyond our
understanding.
St. Paul
calls children and parents to walk under God’s authority. As
children and parents we know how far short we fall in this area.
And besides needing God’s grace, mercy and power we need one more
characteristic that is the cornerstone of being a Christian –
forgiveness.
When a couple gets married
there is one simple test that has a great bearing on whether they will
have a successful relationship or not. It is, can they say, “I’m
sorry, please forgive me?” If you cannot say that to the
one you will marry don’t get married. It probably won’t last
anyway. If you can’t say, “I’m sorry,
please forgive me” to a child don’t have children. Your
family won’t last. Children and parents need to be able to say, “I’m
sorry” and “I forgive you.”
If you cannot do that you are in for a rough family life. And
might I say, an ungodly one.
Heavenly Father, family life
is such a blessing. Empower us to be fathers and mothers and
children who honor you in relating to one another in the family.
Let us be, examples to those around us in a world so disjointed, with
families in turmoil. Stir up Your Spirit within the families here
today to live for Your glory.
In
Jesus name, Amen.
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